Cupcakes are, like, the cool thing. Except I heard that cookies were the new cupcake, but then that pie was possibly the new new cupcake. I like cake. Cupcakes are cake in a fun and convenient form. I set out to make little cakes, and I knew they were going to involve chocolate, but that was about as far as my brain had gotten.
From my ample supply of vintage cookbooks, I pulled this beauty:
I flipped to the back to look at the index, and under “Cakes” I found two recipes that seemed equally horrific/awesome. One will be saved for a later date. Possibly a 70s themed party. The one I chose was this:
Not the Brandied Fruit Cake, But the Salad Dressing Cake. Obviously. Because why wouldn’t I try something like that? Miracle Whip goes bad in my fridge anyway, because I never use it fast enough. This seemed like a good way to get a few laughs, try something new, and prevent waste from spoilage. I followed the recipe exactly, except I used half regular flour and half whole wheat flour. I did sift them, and I did toss the bits left behind by the whole wheat flour, so who knows how much benefit it has in the end after I removed the twigs and bugs, but whatever. The other change I made (obviously) is that I baked them in mini cupcake pans at 350 for 10 minutes.
When they came out of the oven, they had the cutest domed tops that I thought it would be a shame to cover them up with buttercream, so instead I decided to just dress them up a little bit with a buttery vanilla glaze. Here’s the “recipe” for that: I melted half a stick of butter, whisked in about a teaspoon of vanilla extract and a couple of glugs of skim milk. I poured in a bunch of powdered sugar and about 1/2 teaspoon sea salt, then some more milk, and some more sugar, until it seemed like the right consistency and the right amount of glaze.
What they turned into was this:
They will for sure be made again. They were delicious, and nobody who ate them even suspected that they might be something weird.